Behind Closed Doors

Behind closed doors, we are all shameful.

The monster that you harbor inside of you is released into your physical world.

I spent most of my summer days nude. I recommend you do the same.

The person we all hate to reveal exists when we are isolated. Behind closed doors, your secrets and your life seem to fade away.

Closing the door unlocks your brain.

Behind closed doors, I'm a different person. I rage. I thrash. I sob. I fear. Although you may never see me do this around others, I still exist to myself in the raging, thrashing, sobbing core of a human being.

I fail to understand why we need to retain ourselves, but I was taught like the rest of us to show no emotion in the crowded world.

Socialite activities are a quiet war. We attempt to upset and abuse strangers by stabbing them in the face with our wits and knowledge. Intelligence was never conceived as a weapon, but we try so hard to have equals lift us one step higher in the communal rankings. The very same rankings we obsess our lives over. Ego.

I don't like it.

I don't know if it is naturally human to repress how we are around other beings. Was it a defense mechanism? Was every act of humanity a minuscule or massive defense mechanism?

Are the ideas I type a defense mechanism?

Yes.

I intentionally use this domain to remove certain types of people from my life.

I stereotyped. We all do. Our brains pick up patterns, which is why we are capable of all the magnificent events and inhumane tragedies our bloody history and legacy display to us.

Behind closed doors, we lose our shells.

Recently, I have let people see who I really am. I lose my inhibitions to efficiently give to them pieces of me. The pieces are broken to you, but to me, they are cells to the sentient.

To my fair weathered friends who I leave bits of my sanity to, I want you to know that you are now part of me. You'll stay that way, because these pieces are permanent.

Behind closed doors, I am away from my pressure, away from my reality, away from the materials that chain me in the company of guests.

Behind closed doors, I am free.
I am alive.